


Ballast

by almostjulie



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Character Study, Fluff, M/M, Stormpilot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 02:36:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6835561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/almostjulie/pseuds/almostjulie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn adjusts to his new life. Poe’s there to keep him grounded. Pure fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ballast

Life was straightforward for FN-2187: there were orders to follow, strict regimen, protocol. There was routine. There was not much room for original thought. There was steady food, certainly, but there was more to life than eating and breathing and sleeping and training, not that he knew it yet. FN-2187 was a cog in a machine and nothing more. 

When he saw his first firefight on Jakku, something changed in him. When he saw the Resistance pilot, he got an idea. And when he broke Poe Dameron free, there was no going back. 

FN-2187 never left the Finalizer; Finn was born in a TIE fighter. 

***

Finn woke up in the medical bay on D’Qar, but his mind was still back on Starkiller Base and the first thing he did was frantically ask the medic about Rey. She didn’t have all the details, but she told him what she knew about Kylo Ren (relating the story -- a story that Finn was a part of -- in an awed tone that already sounded like a legend) and that Rey was alive and on her way to find Luke Skywalker, and Finn’s heart filled with immense relief and _pride_ for Rey. 

“What about Poe Dameron?” he asked, and right on cue, Poe walked through the door, BB-8 on his heels. 

Finn was relieved again to see a friendly face, to see _that_ friendly face. It hadn’t quite sunk in yet that he was pretty much alone here, that his life had shifted monumentally. But the idea was there on the edge of his subconscious, and it faded away to nearly nothing at the sight of Poe. 

Finn winced when he tried to sit up, but Poe was there instantly, gently grabbing his hand and helping him lean forward so he could put another pillow behind Finn to prop him up. Finn squeezed his hand tight, maybe a little too tight, and didn’t let go. Poe didn’t pull away, just reached with his other hand to drag over a chair so he could sit. 

Poe filled him in, in detail, on everything Finn missed while he was out, until BB-8 nudged at his foot impatiently and beeped. 

“Yes, BB-8, I know.” And then, to Finn, in apology, “I’m late for a training exercise.” 

Finn shook his head in understanding and released Poe’s hand with a final squeeze.

“I’ll come back after.” 

“Hey, Poe?” Poe turned and looked at him, expectantly. “What do I do now?” 

He didn’t need to explain what he meant. Poe knew. “We’ll figure it out.”

***

When Finn was well enough to be transferred out of the medical bay into his own quarters, Poe took him to see General Organa. Finn was now a member of the Resistance, but where he fit in, he still wasn’t sure. General Organa told him to take his time and figure out what he was good at, what he’d _like_ to do. It was exhilarating and a bit overwhelming at the same time: no one in the First Order ever took FN-2187’s feelings into account. 

They spent a lot of time together when Poe wasn’t on duty. Poe was confident and warm and friendly and a little cocky, and people gravitated to him like planets around a star, wanting a piece of him. Poe pulled Finn close with an arm thrown casually over his back, a firm hand squeezing his shoulder, introducing him to a seemingly endless parade of names he’d never remember, “This is my good buddy, Finn.” 

Finn was careful to commit the important ones, Poe’s friends, like Snap and Jess, to memory, though. 

From the time he escaped with Poe in the TIE fighter until he woke up in the medical bay, everything was go go go with no time to think. Now, there were quiet moments in his day, and Finn was adjusting to his new life. Well, adjusting to _life_ , really. Who he was -- what he was -- before didn’t qualify. 

Around the base, people would wave at him, or come up to him and shake his hand. “Hey, Finn, good to see you.” 

He would ask Poe, under his breath, “How do they know me?” or “Should I know her?” or “What’s his name again?”

And Poe would invariably lean in close, breath warm on Finn’s ear, and say in more of a low rumble than a whisper, “Because you’re a hero,” or “You met yesterday in the mess,” or “Don’t worry about it, just act like you know him.” There was always good-natured amusement in Poe’s voice. And gradually, Finn felt more and more like he was fitting in. 

Sometimes, though, he woke up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night and forgot that he wasn’t FN-2187 anymore. Once, after a nightmare, BB-8 found him pacing a corridor in quarters late at night. Finn barely registered the droid as it sounded a concerned whirr and retreated. It returned shortly with Poe, who put a steady hand on his arm and asked, “Finn, are you okay?” And then Finn remembered that he wasn’t FN-2187 anymore. 

He reached for Poe, grabbing a handful of his shirt, and shook his head affirmatively, and Poe nodded at him. 

Rather than sending him back to Finn’s quarters, Poe led him back to his own quarters, and kept leading him, right into his bed. He kept him there, with an arm over Finn’s chest. “Everything’s okay,” he said, as he fell asleep. Eventually, Finn’s heart stopped racing and he knew Poe was right. 

Poe’s arm was still draped over him when Finn woke in the morning, and Poe’s leg was possessively over him, too, his thigh warm against Finn’s own. Finn couldn’t move, but he didn’t really want to, and he absentmindedly traced slow circles on Poe’s forearm with his thumb until he felt the other man stir. In that moment, Finn realized he was content. He turned his head, then, and smiled at Poe. 

Poe looked back at him, sleepily, for half a beat before he said, “You’re fuckin’ killing me, Finn,” and leaned in and kissed him. 

A little voice in the back of Finn’s mind, one he didn’t even know was there, said _finally_ , and Finn kissed him back. 

Later, Finn went back to his own quarters, just to grab Poe’s jacket and the few other possessions he’d managed to accumulate since he’d been on D’Qar. The next time Finn woke up in a cold sweat, Poe was right there beside him, holding him close. When Finn felt untethered, Poe kept him grounded. 

Once, when someone asked him how long he’d known Poe, Finn said, “My whole life.” He could see Poe grinning next to him. “What? It’s the truth.” 

“I know,” said Poe. “So glad you’re not just a number anymore.” 

That was thanks to Poe, but Finn didn’t need to tell him something he already knew. And besides, Finn had his whole life ahead of him to show him. 

***


End file.
